Red leaves lick my fingertips
and pool around the veins.
The air is soft and sickly
but the inhalation strains.
I taste my blood condensing
with the calloused center stem.
I know how it feels to fade,
disintegrate like them.
Your details show so much tenderness for such a sad piece and I totally love "calloused center stem". I've never been good at double adjectives modifying concrete nouns. This is short but every thing makes good sense. Darling, I like everything about it.
First I'd like to thank you for your kind words on my work and since I'm always in the mood for a good cup of tea, I naturally couldn't resist your invitation and had to stop by for some afternoon tea, which by the way, you can serve to me at all times. Really outstanding pieces, very lyrical and very well crafted!
This is beautifully sad, yet absolutely touching nonetheless. Fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous
ReplyDeleteLike the image of "pool around the veins" for the red leaves. It gives the impression of their size in relation to the fingers.
ReplyDeleteYour details show so much tenderness for such a sad piece and I totally love "calloused center stem". I've never been good at double adjectives modifying concrete nouns. This is short but every thing makes good sense. Darling, I like everything about it.
ReplyDeletetrue to form. bravo!
ReplyDeleteFirst I'd like to thank you for your kind words on my work and since I'm always in the mood for a good cup of tea, I naturally couldn't resist your invitation and had to stop by for some afternoon tea, which by the way, you can serve to me at all times. Really outstanding pieces, very lyrical and very well crafted!
ReplyDeleteOh, I just loved this. I also loved how you ended it,
ReplyDelete"I know how it feels to fade,
disintegrate like them."
I found you through Poetry United, so glad I stopped by. :)